


Two of Everything, Even Us

by val_kyrie



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-16
Updated: 2012-04-16
Packaged: 2017-11-03 19:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/384830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/val_kyrie/pseuds/val_kyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers accidentally fuck up space and time (again).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two of Everything, Even Us

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't finished and may never be. I feel the need to warn everyone who might want to read it. Unbetaed.

The portal started out as an accident, really. A couple of misplaced beams, a thunderous loft of Mjolnir, and a super-sonic  scream, and suddenly they had a hole in the fabric of the universe.

There is a resounding “Uh” for a whole three seconds before Tony goes into hyper-mode.

“Okay, so I’m kind of miffed I didn’t come up with this on my own but _wow_ would you look at that?”

It is actually a _hole in the universe_ which Steve is slowly coming to terms with, he is, despite the fact that he was pretty sure when he enlisted in the Army there was only _one_ universe and that if there ever happened to be more than one he would not be the one looking through the hole created by a ragtag team of superheroes at a near-exact replica of Manhattan  - let alone be a member of that ragtag team of superheroes (who, yes, had _power to rip a hole in the universe_ ).

Tony is of course already sticking his face millimeters away from the fuzzy outline of the window – hole – thing, which Steve is pretty sure is not a very safe thing to be doing, not that Tony ever listens to _him_ anyway – and tossing experimental bits of shrapnel through it, “No really, this is fantastic, what are you all just standing there for? Quantized space and time just ripped itself in half for you like a two-bit hooker and you’re going to loiter?”

Like a slap in the face, that sends the team scampering. Clint hunkers down into a solid stance, Natasha coms Air with fierce whispers of “ _holes in space, Coulson, Stark’s wet his pants over it_ ” – which may be a call for assist or just a general shared moment of mockery, Steve can’t actually tell – and Bruce is being helped out of the rubble by a pensive Thor, who is stroking his beard.

“Does this mean there are two of _everything_?”

Steve chokes on any response he would have made to that question.

Everything includes them.

\--                                                                                                                                                                                                            

“You have a _Facebook?_ Wait, no, you’ve liked Nutella, you’re _Facebook friends_ with _Nutella_ there is no way we’re the same person.” Tony’s bending over Toni’s shoulder, and Steve really wishes he could get drunk right now. It’s not actually enough that there’s another Stark heir – it just had to be a woman. Who was just enough like Tony to make Steve blush awkwardly when he looked at the (much smaller, way less gaudy) arc reactor nestled within her sternum. And also her cleavage.

“Of course we’re not. You’re a massive asshole and I’m absolutely fabulous. Also you smell _awful_ what is that? D’homme? Really?”

There is only so much Stark a man can be forced to listen to. Not even Captain America.

“Hey now princess, JARVIS bought it for me –“

“With your own money –“

“- for my birthday, actually, so that’s –“

“- and you really shouldn’t trust him with it. Last year he –“

“-really quite rude of you, JARVIS is a friend –“

“- bought me half of Staten Island as a joke –“

“- and you. Wait. Glitch?”

“Anterior retrograde AI systems were clear, actually, he just has my –“

“- _our_ –“

“ – sense of humor, I guess.”

Screw the drink, Steve needs a coma.

\--

It takes Steve all of two days to realize Toni and Tony have almost exactly opposite sleep schedules, which by no means makes either of them normal, but it does allow them both adequate time in the shared workshop of the Tower.

It then takes him all of two seconds to realize that he should have those schedules mapped, because Toni wears very nearly the same clothing to work in that Tony does, except she seems very averse to bras. She looks to be working on some sort of engine, elbows-deep in the mechanics of it. It’s been so long since Steve’s seen Tony actually working on real machinery that he knows within an instant that it’s her.

“Dummy,” she barks, face streaked with grease and some strange goo Steve’s not sure he wants to know about, “Coffee, stat, and don’t put creamer in it this time! I’ve never liked creamer, no one who has ever wanted coffee from you has liked creamer, and I swear to God, Dums, I will actually donate you to the public school system if so much as a drop of dairy gets in that cup.” Dummy droops and whirs. “Don’t sass me. I’ll do it!”

There’s a line of grease curving over her collarbone, and he can almost see the tail end of one curving around her hip, and this is bad. Steve coughs, because forceful, determined women have always been a thing for him, and this is _Tony_ except it isn’t, and he doesn’t want to be caught eyeing the faint glow of her reactor that shines through her tank top and between her breasts.

She glances up and he can tell it takes her a split second to realize this isn’t _her_ Steve because a flash of barely-there pain registers before it’s covered up with a cocksure (oh god) grin and a salute. “Hey, Cap. What can I do you for?”

“Oh, I was just. Uh.” When did words become so hard? Probably around the time Steve realized Tony’s eyes were actually just as blue as Toni’s were, just framed with fewer black lashes. “Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just trying to get away from –“

“Everyone else, yeah, same. Who knew Nate could actually become more terrifying?”

“Natasha keeps staring at him like he’s dinner.”

Toni laughs, “Between you and me, she doesn’t have a bad idea.”

Wait. “Wait, what?”

There’s innocent blinking, and Steve can’t even bring himself to hate a Stark’s innocent blinking when it’s not his Stark. “Fucking the doubles, you know. I mean, same-sex’s great and all, but the bodies are the same.” She twiddles with a wrench, eyes gone firmly back to work with the quick, calculating shifts Steve’s used to from Tony. “I’d always wondered what I’d look like with a cock. How many times do you get to find that out, huh?” Something clicks and shifts in the harsh grate of steel on steel, echoing against the reinforced walls.

“Uh.” Steve – he’s having a hard time finding words.

“But I know it kind of has to be hardest on you, what with our Cap being frozen, currently, _again,_  because I guess – fuck I guess having a dick makes you better at wielding a suit of fucking bionic brilliance or some shit.” She twists the wrench – too hard – and breaks something that looks relatively important. The grating this time makes Steve’s ears want to bleed.

“It’s not your fault, Toni. Different circumstances –“ He says it automatically, though he knows there’s no way he could possibly know it.

“We’re identical,” she breaks in curtly, eyes intent. “Almost completely. The experiences barely even change, except he had alcohol and I had coke, and I dealt with sexism and he dealt with Obie and won the first time. But I mean, other than those. He and I make near-identical decisions.”

“That mission – I’ve read the reports, they were different. There’s no way you can compare them based on you and Tony’s differences. It’s everyone.”

“Cap – Steve,” she sighs, rubbing a greasy hand through her spiky hair, “I loved my Steve. I _love_ my Steve. He’s the best thing that ever – well. It just, it must be hard for you. To not have him here.”

Steve thinks that’s pretty rich, but doesn’t push it. Instead, he goes after an avenue that will let her talk – as she so obviously wants to do – about her Steve. “Tell me, then. About him, I mean.”

There’s a pregnant pause where she gives him her undivided attention – just as terrifying on her as it is on Tony – and seems to weigh her options.

“Yeah,” she mutters. “Yeah, okay.”

\--

They probably should not have expected a giant hole between universes to go unnoticed.

That was kind of a _really stupid thing_ to overlook.

\--


End file.
